WRITING FOR PLEASURE by Sage Vivant

Ask anybody and they will tell you that in the mid-1990’s, I was one committed, consumer protection bank examiner. I loved my job, yet I never worked terribly late for the pure enjoyment of it. One day, though, I was asked to write “something funny” for the annual conference. (I wrote the humor column in the district’s monthly newsletter, so I suppose it was natural that they tapped me for this conference gig.) I got started on it that very day, and that night, it was nearly midnight before I realized I needed to stop and go home already. Midnight. At my desk. That had never happened before, but then, I’d never been asked to write “something funny” before.

I wrote a parody based on the Jeopardy television game show, where the dialogue was clever and the audience learned about bank examinations. As I watched my script being performed and listened to the audience’s laughter, something inside me that I can only describe as tumescent burst and spread some sort of hypnotizing elixir throughout my body. I knew at that moment that I needed to be writing and not examining banks.

It took two years, however, before I could figure out how to write without starving. (Bank examiners do not make sea changes without knowing there's a healthy inventory of life rafts.) I knew that a 39-year old former bank examiner would not be greeted with open arms as a budding comedy writer in Hollywood, so I crossed that option off my list early. I knew I had to write, but I also knew I had to write what people wanted to read because, let's face it, I wasn't getting any younger. Based on store book shelves, I figured people wanted to read about sex and that they had an endless fascination with themselves. I, then, would write about them having sex.

And my company, Custom Erotica Source, was born in early 1998. My concept was, and remains, quite simple. Customers complete a very simple questionnaire where they can tell me what they'd like and a bit about themselves, then I craft a story based on what they've provided to me. Voila. Customized erotica. I bind it and wrap it so it's pretty, and from there it often becomes a kind of keepsake when given as a gift.

From comedy to erotica, you ask? Believe it or not, it seemed like a natural leap to me. Both genres rely on universal experience as their core. We all know what it's like to ride in an airplane and feel frustrated by the tiny seats, so we can laugh at a comedian's jokes about his plane trip from New York to Washington. And we all know what it's like to secretly lust after somebody we've got no business thinking about;so we can feel aroused when a writer recreates that highly charged experience for us on paper.

I'd dabbled in erotic writing over the years, just for fun. Lots of people have done this but for some reason, it's a bit like masturbation;nobody likes to confess to it. My erotica experience had little to do, however, with my decision to write customized erotica. What I really wanted, as much as I wanted to write, was to help people feel better about their sexual selves.

I've always been disappointed to witness how ill at ease some people are about sexual topics. Many of them don’t ask for what they need because they don't think they're worthy. Others don't ask because they don't even know what they like or need. Meanwhile, punishment and ridicule hide behind every corner for the occasional brave soul who wants to stop feeling guilty about sex and start understanding its role in a healthy, well-integrated life.

As a woman, I also understood that I was an empathetic and careful listener. People and their motivations had always been a topic of interest for me. A career counselor might have taken that assortment of traits and recommended that I become a psychiatrist or crime scene investigator. But where would the writing have come in? Outside of journalism, most writing pursuits are rather solitary and don't afford the writer much human contact. As much as I love solitude, I always knew I wouldn't be happy with a career based on working all by myself with only my imagination to guide me.

Lest you think that my noble undertaking did not encounter a few snags, let me pause to tell you about some of the reactions I got from friends and family. "Youll meet all the wrong people," said my mother. "And we won't be able to tell anybody else in the family that you're doing this."

"Well, I wish you were writing bedtime stories for kids instead of adults, but if that's what makes you happy, there's nothing we can do about it. You're not a kid anymore," my father told me.

The Better Business Bureau would not allow me to be a member, Custom Erotica Source had to pay more for credit card processing services than, say, a gift shop would, and even some of my press releases were pulled from circulation because somebody somewhere might be offended by the very thought that sexual fantasies might benefit from being indulged in a harmless story. My bank, with which I had done business for more than 15 years, refused to give me a merchant account because they didn't approve of my line of work. It's clear to me that they didn't understand my line of work, but that's neither here nor there, now; I found another bank to do business with.

But I persisted because I knew that what I wanted to do was neither sleazy nor unimportant. I knew that these obstacles were actually small compared to the much larger need that existed in the public for sexual exploration through the safety of customized erotica. I loved my brainchild not only because it was the permission I needed to write for a living but because I was convinced beyond any doubt that lots of people were going to embrace the same idea that my bank, the Better Business Bureau, the press release distributor, and countless other businesses pooh-poohed.

I couldn't afford a Webmaster and so I had to learn HTML to build my own Web site. I didn't even own a computer (it was 1998, remember, so cut me a little slack, okay?) so I plunked down the money and bought one. I waded through the mire of business licenses and legal issues, and emerged slightly bruised but more eager than ever to get my business off the ground. I was also beginning to discover that I was a natural entrepreneur.

In my personal life, choosing erotica over something more innocuous such as children's stories or historical romance opened me up to guarded expressions of support at best. Most of my friends blushed when I told them my plans and one of them even asked me, quite incredulously,"but who on earth would order a customized erotic story?"

I'm so happy to report that over a thousand people can now raise their hands in answer to my friend's question. I and my company have been featured in a host of national magazines from Glamour to Bridal Guide, and my stories have appeared in dozens of anthologies. I'm also happy to report that customized erotica has not only affected my clients' lives, it's affected mine. I never could have imagined the satisfaction I experience when a client tells me my story was exactly what he or she needed. Still more astounding, though, is the insight into human nature and sexuality that I've been given through the brave, intrepid souls who confide their desires to me and rely on me to fashion something uniquely tailored to their preferences. I've learned that sexual desires come in all shapes, sizes, degrees, flavors, and colors. My definition of "normal" has expanded drastically and I feel grateful beyond measure. It has been a true privilege to get into the hearts, minds, and libidos of my clients. All this and writing, too.

Figuring out my unique purpose in this life fueled me with a level of energy I never could have anticipated. Did I mention that I met my husband through the writing contacts I met? I now have something I had always wanted: a meaningful, rewarding life. It's safe to say that everything in my life improved when I opted to write.

Who knew what lurked in the heart of that bank examiner ten years ago? Thank goodness I released it or you might have read some alarming news story about an imploding bank examiner.

About me… I am a writer who came to writing somewhat late in life--at the age of 39. I started my own company writing customized erotic stories for people and have never looked back. The changes in my life after making this decision have been nothing less than fabulous. …