Column | Dare To Be Fabulous

Dancing on the Rooftop

2008-08-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

Image: "Dauphine," by Teresa Moore.

I danced on my roof tonight. Yes , I actually did.
I live in a nine-story building. A lovely generous person plants that roof each summer with a beautiful potted garden – it’s a place I always think when I am there, “why don’t I come up here more often?”
This afternoon it rained hard – thunder and lightening, diminishing to a soft sprinkle that left the evening air cool and fresh, and perfect for reading on the rooftop. My book, The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, was striking cords in my psyche left and right. The view – a gorgeous panorama of all of Washington, D.C., its trees and monuments and houses and churches. The air was clean and fresh. I was sore but relaxed from an earlier intensive dance workout.
Then it hit me. The urge. To dance. On the rooftop.
“No, I can’t, someone might see.”
“It’s dusk. And no one is looking all the way up here.”
“Someone looking out the window in the next building might see.”
“Then they’ll be entertained. For free.”
“No, I can’t. I should read.”
“OK, go ahead then. Read.”
I kept reading. But my legs and body protested and yearned to move in that cool, fresh air, over that wide expanse of open, rain-puddled space, among the pots hibiscus and lantana, way up high over the city, over George Bush and Dick Cheney, and high gas prices cellulite and everything else.
I danced. Flamenco, modern, jazz. It didn’t last long, but I did it. I’d get all poetic and tell you how fabulous it felt – wind in hair, open arms, blah, blah, blah – but we both know that would be crap. Well, it was kind of fabulous, actually, but also silly and a little embarrassing. And fun. And it really did feel good. If I had been five years old I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. So why would I now? Exactly. We should just dance if we freaking feel like it. Damn it.
I’m going to do it again. I’ll let you know how it goes.

DTBF!
Patti

Three Cheers for Dara Torres!

2008-07-09T08:03:00.000-07:00

What about 41-year-old swimmer Dara Torres beating women half her age and qualifying for her fifth Olympic Games? Dara is the mother of a two-year-old girl. She's undergone several surgeries in the past year; a rotator cuff surgery in November and several surgeries on her knee. The last one was only five weeks ago. Yet, there she was this past weekend, not only winning the qualifying 50 and 100 meter freestyle finals, but beating her own times in the 100 freestyle from her Olympic swims in 1984 and 2000. She holds the world record for the 100 backstroke, too. Talk about an inspiration.

(The photo included here is from USA Today, taken two years ago. That's Dara with her daughter, Tessa.)

"A Swimmer of a Certain Age" appeared in the New York Times Magazine on June 29th, before she won her qualifying races this past weekend.

Of course, there are cynics who believe that she has to be doping in order to win like that, at her age. Undoubtedly, those claims will surface throughout the media in the months to come. A feature in the Austin-American Statesman appeared on Monday, addressing these claims and her responses. The article is entitled, "41-year-old Olympic swimmer: Too good to be true?" It mentions that Dana categorically denies doping, continually offering to be tested anywhere, at anytime, for anything, in order to prove her point. An excerpt:

"As part of the new USADA program, Project Believe, she's one of about a dozen athletes who gets blood and urine taken at any time. Sometimes she's asked to go to the nearest lab. 'It's a pain,' she said. 'But I asked for this and I want to prove that I'm clean, so to me it's worth it."

We'll keep watching Dara in Beijing and wish her fabulous success!

DTBF!
Johanna

DTBF requests your generosity for one of our own

2008-06-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

A Dare To Be Fabulous sister, Jill Robinson, founder of Animals Asia, is at ground zero in Chengdu, China, helping survivors of that horrendous earthquake that killed tens of thousands and left millions homeless. Read Jill's story here

Jill's famous moon bear sanctuary, situated in Chengdu, miraculously escaped the devastation caused by the earthquake, and I'm happy to say that Jill, the staff, and the bears were uninjured. But Jill feverishly continuing with rescue efforts to help the people and animals in surrounding villages, which is desperately straining the financial resources of the sanctuary. Please read the moving report below from Animals Asia, log on to Animals Asia, and donate as generously as you can.

We send our thoughts and prayers to Jill -- please let her know that the Dare To Be Fabulous sisterhood is supporting her.

Patricia Howard & Johanna McCloy

We need your help urgently!

It's now almost three weeks since the devastating earthquake hit Sichuan in China and the full horror of the tragedy is really hitting home. As many as 90,000 people could have died in the quake and its aftershocks, which are still causing panic throughout the province. More than 365,000 people are injured, many of them also losing their homes and livelihoods.Animals Asia is extremely fortunate and grateful that no staff or animals at our Moon Bear Rescue Centre in Chengdu were hurt, but we too are facing a difficult time. We are in urgent need of donations to deal with two emergencies arising from the earthquake. First we are racing against time to rescue dogs and cats from a town in northern Sichuan, where the authorities have ordered a cull of all companion animals; and second, we need to rebuild four of the buildings at our sanctuary.

Four of our main buildings, including the big office and accommodation blocks have been so badly damaged that they will need to be completely rebuilt at a cost of hundreds of thousands of US dollars. A fifth building needs repairs. Initially, onsite staff (who launched an immediate donations drive among themselves for earthquake victims) were sleeping on the floors of the quarantine area for new bear arrivals, but are now crammed into the remaining buildings that have been deemed safe.

But rebuilding will come later. Right now, there are more urgent needs. Rescuing already traumatised family dogs and cats from being shot or beaten to death in the city of Dujiangyiang - one of the worst-hit areas is our highest priority. The authorities there have ordered a cull of all dogs and cats, even if they have owners, adding to the misery of survivors who are clinging to their pets for comfort.

We have set up a hotline and a receiving station at a local vet clinic for earthquake victims to surrender their dogs to us for safe-keeping until they are back on their feet and can take them back. Many people, terrified that their much-loved dogs would be killed in front of them have been hiding them in the ruins of their homes and risking their lives to go and feed them.

We have promised those who have handed us their pets that we will make sure they are well cared for. If, after six months, they are still unable to take their pets back, we will continue to look after them until they can be reunited. If they decide they can't take their pets back, we will try to rehome the animals.

So far, we have rescued around 100 dogs and brought them to Chengdu's Qi Ming Pet Rescue Centre, which can take about 100 more. We have also rescued some cats and a few starving dogs that have been found wandering around looking for food. We are giving each a health check and vaccination and will build a quarantine facility for the dogs at the shelter and provide them with food. All this too, of course, will cost money - and we're not sure how long we'll have to provide for these dogs.

I am the first person to question where donations are going in a crisis situation and I can assure you that any donation you make to our earthquake appeal will go directly to our work rescuing dogs and cats from the earthquake zone, vaccinating against rabies, building quarantine kennels at the Qi Ming shelter and supplying other local shelters with food and medical help. Being here on the ground, I will ensure your donation goes first to distraught dogs and cats. Any funds left over will go to rebuilding our bear sanctuary.

Given the enormity of the Sichuan tragedy, this is a difficult time for us to raise funds, as donors are understandably channelling their donations to the human victims of the earthquake. So please, if you are considering donating to the earthquake relief effort, remember that animals are victims too - and by giving to us, you may be helping to save the only family member a survivor has left.

Warm wishes,

Jill

Jill Robinson MBE
Founder and CEO
Animals Asia Foundation
PS: Don't forget to check my blog for regular updates on how we're helping earthquake survivors – both animals and people.

For more information visit Jill blog - http:/www.animalsasia.org/blog
To donate now please go to our website http:/www.animalsasia.org.

May 31: DTBF at Shea Stadium

2008-05-08T19:32:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, May 31, I’ll be heading a group outing to a Mets/Dodgers game at Shea Stadium in New York. I will be wearing my other hat (literally) as the director of Soy Happy, which many of you already know about. Rather than going into a description about Soy Happy, I’ll defer to the website and let you check it out, if you’re interested.

Anyway. It’s through Soy Happy that I came to know Patti. (That picture up there is of me with Patti at an A's game a few years ago.) I was speaking at a conference back in 2001 and she introduced herself afterward, expressing her desire to help and to take action in her own region (D.C./Baltimore area.) She became my Soy Happy Manager for the Orioles and then for the Nationals, as well. When I returned for an Orioles game outing a year later, she played driver and guide to me. We’ve been solid friends ever since.

So. Back to the outing. On May 31, Patti will be joining us at Shea Stadium. We’re there simply to enjoy an afternoon at a ballpark, partake in veggie dogs, chat with a group of great folks, and simply be....soy happy! Dan Piraro, creator of the comic strip, Bizarro, will be there, too, along with his amazing wife, Ashley. As I wrote on the Soy Happy site, he’ll join a group that includes a noted residential architect, a fabulous flamenco dancer (that would be Patti!), a custom vegan glove maker (recently voted in by the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum), an MTV video award winner, a former 3-time Little League All Star, an attorney who pro bonos for animal cases... and many others!

It’s as much about Daring To Be Fabulous as it is about being Soy Happy, so I invite you to join us! Contact me at johanna@soyhappy.org if you’d like to get tickets. You can also read more about the Shea outing by clicking on that link.

DTBF!
Johanna

Female Afghan Sprinter in a race against hate

2008-04-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the San Francisco Chronicle featured a story about Mehboba Andyar, a female Afghan sprinter who, despite all cultural and personal threats to her pursuit of the Olympic dream, has continued to train for, and will now compete in, the Beijing Olympics. Andyar truly dares to be fabulous. Her courage and her conviction are an example for all.

The article is pasted, below. Please share your comments with us! Also, click on the link to the Chronicle and offer your comments there, too.

Female Afghan sprinter in a race against hate
Nick Meo, Chronicle Foreign Service
Friday, April 4, 2008

(04-04) 04:00 PDT Kabul, Afghanistan --

Many athletes at the Olympic Games this summer will undoubtedly have overcome numerous obstacles to represent their country in Beijing. But only one has been forced to endure a hate campaign.

Sprinter Mehboba Andyar has received threatening midnight phone calls, been jeered at by hostile neighbors and harassed by police. The anger is directed at the 19-year-old runner for being Afghanistan's sole female Olympic athlete. In a conservative Muslim society where few women have roles outside the home, many Afghan men believe females should not compete in sports.

"There have been so many phone calls from people saying I shouldn't be an athlete. There are often strange men hanging outside my home," she said. "Sometimes stones are thrown at the windows at night, and we have had threatening letters. I don't worry about these threats, but if my family didn't want me to go (to Beijing), I wouldn't."

Neighbors scream abuse and threaten her with physical harm each time she leaves her small mud-brick home in a Kabul slum to run. Last month, police officers arrested her father after a neighbor complained that Andyar had been entertaining strange men. Even though she was merely giving an interview to a French journalist and his translator, she says the police hauled the three men to the station. They were soon released after the precinct police chief intervened and apologized, she says.

Since the announcement early this year that she would represent Afghanistan in the 800-meter and 1,500-meter races, the determined Andyar refuses to be intimidated.

"I knew that I would have to be strong to be a runner in Afghanistan," she said. "At least my family and fellow athletes support me and want me to run for my country."

To be sure, she does have some male supporters, especially among the young and educated.

"If a woman likes sports, she should do it," said Naimullah, a 24-year-old university student who goes by just one name. "Afghanistan is changing. In a few years, people won't think this is anything unusual."

When Andyar arrives in Beijing to compete against the world's top runners who have honed their skills at some of the world's best facilities, she knows she has little chance of winning a gold, silver or bronze medal.

"We don't expect her to win," said Habibullah Niazi, a member of Afghanistan's Olympic committee. "But participating in the Olympic Games and running as an Afghan woman athlete is an achievement. All sports people support her. Unfortunately, many of the people do not."

Her interest in running began under the fundamentalist Taliban government in 1998, when she began jogging around the family's enclosed yard in Kabul to avoid the patrols of the Taliban's religious police. Aside from banning television, movies, music and kite flying, the Taliban prevented girls from going to school or work and participating in sports.

When the family fled to Pakistan, her father couldn't afford to join an athletic club where she could train properly. Instead, she ran at a park in Islamabad.

Today, Andyar trains on a cracked concrete track in the same national stadium the Taliban used for public executions. The track, bordered by a chain-link fence topped with razor wire, circles a patch of dried yellow grass where boys play soccer. She dons a track suit and head scarf and plans to do the same in Beijing.

"I am an Afghan, so I have to dress modestly," she said. "It is my culture."

Her training regimen is often interrupted by dust storms that sweep through the city. And to avoid the neighbors' wrath, she runs along potholed streets near her home at night while they are watching popular soap operas, maneuvering around trash piles and open drains.

Later this month, the Afghan and International Olympic committees plan to send Andyar and the only other member of Afghanistan's Olympic squad - a 20-year-old male sprinter named Massoud Azizi - to Malaysia to train at adequate facilities. There, coach Shahpoor Amiri hopes Andyar will be able to focus on running.

"She is an inspiration," Amiri said. "For us, it is enough that an Afghan girl is going to the Beijing games."

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/04/MN5DVOUQ2.DTL

This article appeared on page A - 15 of the San Francisco Chronicle

Observing Our Apologies

2008-03-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

I read a Q&A column with Natalie Portman in this week’s Time Magazine. One reader asked her this question:

“What have you learned about yourself by portraying powerful women?”

To which she replied,

“It has encouraged me to say things authoritatively. Often women preface what they say with ‘I know this might sound stupid’ or ‘I don’t mean to be aggressive, but…’ I tend to do that, so it is great to have the opportunity to play a leader.”

I thought about how true that was and then continued with reading the magazine. Well, in the few days since I read that column, I have become startlingly aware of my own tendency to apologize. Apologize when unnecessary, I hasten to clarify. It has happened enough times for me to self-impose an internal alarm whenever that word comes out of my mouth, or as in most cases, when it came out in the text of an e-mail. I’m training myself to sound that alarm and simply ask myself, “is it truly warranted? Or am I making less of myself because I’m nervous about the response?”

Apologizing is often a way of playing ourselves down and letting the listener, or the reader, know that we put their opinions above ours. In essence, it relays that we are either slightly embarrassed or ashamed to be putting that person on the receiving side of our question or request. Unfortunately, Ms. Portman is correct in stating that this is something many women do. We don’t dare give ourselves the right to just state something, or simply ask.

When I am asking for something and I sense that it may ruffle the other person’s feathers, I have a tendency to apologize. Even if I think it’s their job and my right and there really is nothing wrong with asking.

I heard my internal alarm when I was prone to another apology yesterday, and it occurred to me that the trigger comes from a deeper place. Perhaps it’s a place of connection; a place of compassion. That’s assuming the best, of course. We just don’t like to make others feel uncomfortable or unhappy. Right? Anyone who’s had any bit of self-therapy will admit that’s nonsense, though. Shouldn’t we assume for them the same privilege we grant ourselves? That is, allow them to be accountable for their own response, to deal with things their own way, and to let them handle their own issues without our automatic need to make it all OKAY?

Diplomacy is a delicate art form. Somewhere between directly or aggressively stating something on the one hand, and prefacing the request with an apology (or three or four) on the other…well, therein lies the charm. After all, tact and consideration should never be under-rated.

We each know our internal buttons. When we are acting consciously, I believe that each one of us has an intuitive sense of when we’re apologizing simply to appease a discomfort that we ourselves feel in the process of asking or suggesting something; not necessarily because we are truly SORRY to ask. (Otherwise, why ask?) Generally speaking, we don’t want others to dislike us or to say bad things about us later. We want to be liked at all costs. We mean well, after all. So we apologize as our way of showing that.

Auto-pilot apologizing holds us back in more ways than I think any of us realize. If we continue to introduce our requests with an apology, we’ll continue to back down and give someone else the go ahead, simply because their personalities seem stronger or more forceful, or more notably, because we’re concerned with making sure we’re liked at all costs, even if what we’re asking for is a completely professional or logical request and in no way inappropriate.

I encourage all of you who have this tendency to start observing yourselves more consciously. Ask yourselves if the apology is truly warranted, or whether it’s that auto-pilot trigger. I believe that the more you practice, the taller you’ll stand.

DTBF!
Johanna

Your Top Twenty Inspirational DTBF Films!

2008-01-28T07:49:00.001-08:00

Films have so much power to inspire us, lift our moods, or give us heroes to admire. We were thinking about the many movies where the central female character has either dared to be fabulous, or just was fabulous. Or maybe just a movie involving a woman character that made us feel fabulous. We thought it would be a blast to find out which movies with great women characters inspired all of you!

We’d love you to help us create a Top 20 Dare To Be Fabulous Films list, so let’s get to it! Reply in the ”Comments” section below and name some of your favorites, with a few words about why they inspire or move you! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll publish the results here on the web site.

Just to get you started, we’ll throw out some of our own favorites, just to give you an idea. Maybe they are some of yours, too. Just examples, in no particular order:

Johanna: Norma Rae; Whale Rider; Harold and Maude; TransAmerica; Erin Brockovitch; Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore; many of Pedro Almodovar’s movies!

Patti: Shirley Valentine; Anne of a Thousand Days; Romy and Michelle’s Class Reunion, Enchanted April; Elizabeth; Sweet Charity; The Unsinkable Molly Brown; anything with Doris Day.

We’re waiting to hear from you! Remember – click on “Comments” below and tell us what you think! We’ll publish the results soon!

Patti and Johanna

Illustration: "Late at Kate's" by Teresa Moore
www.TeresaMoore.com

Again, Gloria Steinem Says it All

2008-01-08T18:54:00.000-08:00

DTBF contributor Anne Singer alerted us to this outstanding New York Times op-ed that Johanna and I felt was too important to not reprint here. Gloria Steinem, besides being my personal hero since the '70s, has graciously given DTBF permission to reprint an essay from one of her many books, which we plan to do soon. In the meantime, please read her wonderful words here and remember that we still have a long, long way to go. We can't be complacent. We are women, and if we want to lead - we have to Dare!
~ Patti

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/08/opinion/08steinem.html?ref=opinion

January 8, 2008
Op-Ed Contributor
Women Are Never Front-Runners
By GLORIA STEINEM
Correction appended.

The woman in question became a lawyer after some years as a community organizer, married a corporate lawyer and is the mother of two little girls, ages 9 and 6. Herself the daughter of a white American mother and a black African father — in this race-conscious country, she is considered black — she served as a state legislator for eight years, and became an inspirational voice for national unity.

Be honest: Do you think this is the biography of someone who could be elected to the United States Senate? After less than one term there, do you believe she could be a viable candidate to head the most powerful nation on earth?

If you answered no to either question, you’re not alone. Gender is probably the most restricting force in American life, whether the question is who must be in the kitchen or who could be in the White House. This country is way down the list of countries electing women and, according to one study, it polarizes gender roles more than the average democracy.

That’s why the Iowa primary was following our historical pattern of making change. Black men were given the vote a half-century before women of any race were allowed to mark a ballot, and generally have ascended to positions of power, from the military to the boardroom, before any women (with the possible exception of obedient family members in the latter).

If the lawyer described above had been just as charismatic but named, say, Achola Obama instead of Barack Obama, her goose would have been cooked long ago. Indeed, neither she nor Hillary Clinton could have used Mr. Obama’s public style — or Bill Clinton’s either — without being considered too emotional by Washington pundits.

So why is the sex barrier not taken as seriously as the racial one? The reasons are as pervasive as the air we breathe: because sexism is still confused with nature as racism once was; because anything that affects males is seen as more serious than anything that affects “only” the female half of the human race; because children are still raised mostly by women (to put it mildly) so men especially tend to feel they are regressing to childhood when dealing with a powerful woman; because racism stereotyped black men as more “masculine” for so long that some white men find their presence to be masculinity-affirming (as long as there aren’t too many of them); and because there is still no “right” way to be a woman in public power without being considered a you-know-what.

I’m not advocating a competition for who has it toughest. The caste systems of sex and race are interdependent and can only be uprooted together. That’s why Senators Clinton and Obama have to be careful not to let a healthy debate turn into the kind of hostility that the news media love. Both will need a coalition of outsiders to win a general election. The abolition and suffrage movements progressed when united and were damaged by division; we should remember that.

I’m supporting Senator Clinton because like Senator Obama she has community organizing experience, but she also has more years in the Senate, an unprecedented eight years of on-the-job training in the White House, no masculinity to prove, the potential to tap a huge reservoir of this country’s talent by her example, and now even the courage to break the no-tears rule. I’m not opposing Mr. Obama; if he’s the nominee, I’ll volunteer. Indeed, if you look at votes during their two-year overlap in the Senate, they were the same more than 90 percent of the time. Besides, to clean up the mess left by President Bush, we may need two terms of President Clinton and two of President Obama.

But what worries me is that he is seen as unifying by his race while she is seen as divisive by her sex.

What worries me is that she is accused of “playing the gender card” when citing the old boys’ club, while he is seen as unifying by citing civil rights confrontations.

What worries me is that male Iowa voters were seen as gender-free when supporting their own, while female voters were seen as biased if they did and disloyal if they didn’t.

What worries me is that reporters ignore Mr. Obama’s dependence on the old — for instance, the frequent campaign comparisons to John F. Kennedy — while not challenging the slander that her progressive policies are part of the Washington status quo.

What worries me is that some women, perhaps especially younger ones, hope to deny or escape the sexual caste system; thus Iowa women over 50 and 60, who disproportionately supported Senator Clinton, proved once again that women are the one group that grows more radical with age.

This country can no longer afford to choose our leaders from a talent pool limited by sex, race, money, powerful fathers and paper degrees. It’s time to take equal pride in breaking all the barriers. We have to be able to say: “I’m supporting her because she’ll be a great president and because she’s a woman.”

Correction: An earlier version of this Op-Ed stated that Senator Edward Kennedy had endorsed Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. He has not made an endorsement in the 2008 presidential race.

Gloria Steinem is a co-founder of the Women’s Media Center.

It's the Holidays Already! (How did that happen?)

2007-12-09T21:01:00.000-08:00

I am always ambushed by December. It seems so far away, then there it is -- right on top of you, another year almost over. That might actually mean something if I didn’t believe like Einstein that time is not actually linear. OK. I really do believe that, but the fact is that my human brain can really only comprehend time if I follow the linear convention and count weeks, months, and years to mark my progress.

So as 2007 draws to a close, we are excited to look back over the DTBF year. We have been lucky enough to have had the most wonderful contributors during the year – Annie in Washington, DC, Molly in Mexico and Chicago, Katie in Napa, California, Corrie in North Carolina, Diana in New York City, Karen in New Zealand, Renel in San Francisco, Kelly in Santa Clara, and Ginny in Sonoma. We also had a lovely reprint from Doris “Granny D” Haddock. And we had a wonderful contribution from the incredible Gretchen Wyler, published just two months before we lost her to cancer. What an amazing sisterhood of women are represented in the Dare To Be Fabulous guest column. If you haven’t yet read some of their stories, we would encourage you to do so, as well as catch up with past years’ columns. (You can find them archived on the Guest Column page.) Johanna and I are so proud of all of these fabulous women, and so honored they have shared their stories with us.

We are continually encouraged and inspired by the intelligence, courage, imagination, humor, and sheer fabulousness of the women we have come in contact with through DTBF. We have noticed a trend in the use of the word “fabulous” – a trend that equates fabulous with physical beauty and diva-like behavior (not that that isn’t fun! ) but our definition of “fabulous” is in the stories submitted by our readers. Be yourself. Be kind. Be brave. Be generous. Be funny. Be imaginative. Be real. Be fabulous. And don’t let anyone stop you!

Tell your friends about us – submit stories and add your comments to the columns. We look forward to what 2008 will bring, and you are all part of that! Happy holidays to all of you!

Peace and DTBF!
Patti

Image: "Persephone" by Teresa Moore (Teresamoore.com)
Because I think pomegranates are just so Christmasy!

Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner

2007-10-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

What a fabulous woman. Here's an interview with her from a recent Time Magazine:

"Senator and First Lady Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, 54, wife of President Nestor Kirchner, is all but certain to win Argentina's October 28 presidential election. If so, she will be the first woman ever elected to the Casa Rosada, the Pink House, the Buenos Aires presidential palace. (Isabel Peron, president from 1974 to 1976, succeeded to the office after her husband Juan died.) A veteran lawyer, legislator and stateswoman, as well as political fashion plate, Fernandez is often called The New Evita, after Argentina's most famous First Lady, Eva Peron. In a rare interview, she talked with TIME's Tim Padgett about her role in Argentina's return to the world stage after its disastrous financial crisis of 2001-02."

Link to the article here: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1666879,00.html

DTBF!
Johanna

Walking up a trail

2007-09-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

Walking up a trail, the crisp cold air on my cheeks, watching each rock as I navigate my way, step by step, and around the bend, I notice that I am smiling. A broad, happy, easy, natural smile that matches the beating of my heart and tells me I am one again. Deep breath in, hop onto a rock, step over some boulders, and out again. Birds singing. A breeze. THIS, I remember, is where I am happiest. Moving through Nature. Joining it. Beholding it. Immersing myself in such a way that I not only commune, I honor.

For some people, it is a Church where they find solace and spiritual connectedness, a path and an answer to the whys and hows that inhabit their thoughts. For me, it is a walk upon soil and granite, distant from the tether of humanity. There, I find bliss in the simplicity of my breath and the cadence of my stride. My thoughts inevitably whirr in the first mile, my ego baiting for resolutions on things of the past and future. On and on it goes, in circles and around again, thinking of choices I’ve made, pondering their merit and possible changes in plan. I think of people I know, how I am and how they are, and what that all means, and what do I do with it. After a while, as my heart beat starts to lure my thoughts toward my body, I start to notice my surroundings more. The colors. The temperature. The topography. And then, at some point, I realize, it’s been many miles and I forgot all about myself. I forgot that I had a self-identity. I was simply in the moment, breath in, breath out, engaged with my surroundings, taking one step at a time.

Today, I was in the Sunol Wilderness. I craved hot weather and sun, after a week of heavy bay area fog. I longed to feel the reality of summer. Under the hot sun, I walked along trails that meandered up and around the many rolling hills of mustard colored grass. Cows crossed my path, watching me ever so carefully to ensure that I was no threat. I whispered to them that I was not. I thought of Franz Kafka’s quote, “Now I can look at you in peace. I do not eat you any more.” Nevertheless, a calf was nearby and I knew the sentiment wouldn’t hold much value to a defensive mama. I veered to the left when I saw the little one, black and white, and averted my gaze from his mother’s intent glare. All is well here, I relayed to her in thought. I am your friend. I will do you no harm.

Hiking in wilderness is my meditation. My re-connection. My way of disengaging from the I, and all of my ego’s desires to make things work, make things fit, make things right with society. Questions of how do I fit in dissipate as a true outer connection is borne.

I came upon no other people on my hike today. Just me, the vast sky above, the sloping hills all around me, and the cows.

Seven miles and I was centered again.

DTBF!
Johanna

Sundown Dip

2007-09-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

What do you do when your bikini top gets tossed away by the ocean's current? If you're Corrie White, you Dare To Be Fabulous!

This month, we feature her story in our Guest Column. It is entitled Sundown Dip.

Link here to read her story: http://www.daretobefabulous.com/guestcolumn/corrie/

We welcome your feedback below this posting!

DTBF!
Johanna & Patti

July's All-Star Renel

2007-07-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

This month, our Guest Column features a story by Renel Brooks-Moon, a woman whose name is widely recognized throughout the San Francisco Bay Area. Renel is the host and morning dee-jay of "Renel in the Morning" on KISS-FM, while also being the public address announcer for the San Francisco Giants' AT&T Park. Renel is a trailblazer as a woman in the sport announcing profession. This month is no exception, as Renel prepares to announce Major League Baseball's All Star Game on July 10. (Watch the game on TV and you'll hear her voice in the background!)

Renel's story, "Finding my Voice", was borne from an interview with Johanna on June 25.
Read her story by clicking here

We welcome your comments, below!

DTBF!
Johanna & Patti

Gretchen Wyler Defined Fabulous

2007-06-09T08:40:00.000-07:00

"Animals should have the right to run if they have legs, swim if they have fins and fly if they have wings."

These eloquent words were spoken by Gretchen Wyler, who passed away in Los Angeles on May 19, from complications related to the breast cancer that we all only last year believed she had beaten. Unfortunately, it returned, this time in her bones. A cruel irony for one who was such a brilliant and exuberant dancer. Johanna and I, as with the many people who knew and loved her, could not be more grief-stricken – the world needed Gretchen for much longer than she was allowed to be here.

Gretchen was generous enough to share her story with us in the March Guest Column of DTBF. Knowing her remaining days might be few, she freely gave some of her precious time to us and to our readers. We will not only be forever grateful to her for that, but also for her encouragement early on and her belief in and support of DareTo Be Fabulous. Support and encouragement was what Gretchen was all about. All who spoke of her never failed to mention how she encouraged them in whatever they tried to do, always a big sister, a champion, a mentor. Gretchen never hoarded the limelight – she wanted all to share in it, all to succeed. Especially when it came to helping animals. Or becoming your best self.

After two decades at the helm of The Ark Trust’s annual Genesis Awards, this last March she sat in the audience, close to the stage, as James Cromwell took over the formidable task of following in her footsteps as master of ceremonies. When the time came for her to present a special award in her name, she made her entrance from backstage with the help of a few handsome gentlemen in a way that made one think of a Broadway star and her chorus boys, an analogy that might have amused her. Fragile and pale, she hit her mark like only a consummate stage professional can, and her exuberant, velvety voice resonated throughout the ballroom of the Beverly Hilton Hotel. The stage belonged to Gretchen. Afterward, as exhausted and pained as she must have been, she took the time to visit with all of her friends and admirers – ever gracious, ever generous.

Both Johanna and I consider it the deepest of privileges to have had Gretchen Wyler in our lives. Gretchen singled out Johanna in 2002 with recognition at the Genesis Awards for her work in vegetarian outreach to Major League ballparks and the founding of Soy Happy. Her supportive phone calls to me in my own recovery from cancer are memories I will always treasure. For the last year, I have saved a voice message from Gretchen on my cell phone – a comfort to know that I can just punch in a number at any time and still hear that fabulous voice ringing forth cheerfully with “Hello, Patti, darling!” For those few seconds I can pretend she is still here – just a phone call away in California.

Gretchen Wyler defined Fabulous. We deeply, deeply miss her.

Here is a link to the Los Angeles Times obituary.

DTBF!
Patti

Granny DTBF!

2007-05-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

It's May and we are very excited to feature a story from Doris "Granny D" Haddock as our Guest Column this month.

If you haven't heard of her, this is a great time to become acquainted with this fabulous woman. She walked across America at the age of 89. No easy feat for anyone, far less an 89-year old woman. Why, you may ask? To raise awareness and support for campaign finance reform. Her story is one-of-a-kind and her example is beautiful.

We celebrate her passion and her work by sharing an excerpt from her book about the walk, entitled "Granny D: Walking Across America in My 90th Year," written with Dennis Burke.

Link to our Guest Column (top right of this page) to read her story!

We welcome your comments!

DTBF!
Johanna & Patti

Fabulous But Not Yet First-Class?

2007-04-08T16:14:00.000-07:00

On a recent trip, I flew from Washington, D.C. to Los Angeles, from Los Angeles to Dallas, and from Dallas back to Washington, D.C. Each time as I made my way through the first-class cabin on my way to my coveted aisle seat in coach, I noticed that first class was cpmpletely full. By the third leg of my trip, I made yet another observation. I had passed through a full first-class cabin three times and had seen only three women seated there the entire trip. Men, it seems, are able to travel in comfort and style in far greater numbers than women. And it’s 2007.

I reflected back to many other flights I had taken and my overall impression was that men have always been in the majority when it comes to flying first-class. In an unofficial survey of my women friends who travel, their recollections matched up with my own. We all puzzled that one – why are women so far outnumbered by men in that pampered, expensive environment? Think back on your own flights, whether many or few. What ratio do you recall seeing?

We didn’t have a definitive answer, but a few good ideas emerged, given that most first-class travel is professional business-related:

• Men largely still control the money.
• High-performing men are still more highly valued by their employers than their female counterparts, so their well-being is taken more seriously.
• Women are undervalued and expected to sacrifice monetarily for the “greater good” of their workplaces.
• Women are too shy/intimidated to ask for these extra perks.
• Women are used to “doing without” for the good of the whole.
• Women often acquiesce rather than rock the boat and demand what others are getting.

Any, some, or all of the above are possibilities, and probably there are other reasons as well. But what is certain is that, as much as women have gained professionally since the beginning of the women’s movement almost 40 years ago, we are still not getting the “cash and prizes” that men are getting for the same level of contribution to business and society.

It’s certainly not that women don’t care whether they are traveling first class or not – and you can take this metaphorically and include the entire flight we call life – we like our comforts just as much as men do. We have even been unfairly accused of “needing” them more than men (even though we often do better than men under rugged and trying circumstances). Is our professional value and well-being not being taken as seriously as men’s?

In a letter to the editor in the April 8, 2007, Washington Post, Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) and Sen. Carolyn Maloney (D-N.Y.) state that women earn only 77 cents for each dollar men earn, and that the gap is even greater for black and Hispanic women. While it may be argued (not very successfully) that women are not doing the same jobs as men, we can look at, for example, veterinary medicine as an example of a profession once populated by men only. While it was never as high-earning as other medical professions, the salaries now even appear to be going down, as the veterinary profession becomes more dominated by women – some estimate that 70% of the veterinary students in the U.S. are now female. What are being blamed are women’s supposedly inferior salary-negotiating skills. Apparently, the 77/100 earning ratio is just the tip of the iceberg.

OK – I don’t think I will be able to demand (or even politely request) first-class travel accommodations from my current employer. I don’t think many of us can, realistically speaking. But we can see that the bar has been set high, and we haven’t even begun to approach it. As a whole, we should be seeing women being as valued and well-cared for in their professions as men are. And we should start by caring for ourselves whenever possible, by requesting, when appropriate, what we do deserve, when we deserve it. At the very least, fair and equal perks and benefits.

But will this be helpful? We can’t be sure until we start doing it. There is always the risk that whoever holds the purse strings will counter that your contribution has not been as deserving. And as often as not, that won’t be true. But, regardless, they have to start hearing from us.

This is not really about whether we travel first-class or coach on an airplane. As I said earlier, this is a metaphor to be compared and contrasted to the whole and bigger picture. Are we going to travel first class through life, or fly coach? If we don’t want to – fine and good. But if we do want to, something’s gotta change. And as with everything else, it has to start with ourselves. It has to start with valuing our own efforts, contributions, and successes as much as we value those of men. As we begin to have a clearer picture in our minds of our value to the social and economic fabric of civilization, and not sweep our contributions under the rug as “all in a day’s work,” our efforts may still go unrecognized and unrewarded.

DTBF!
Patti

Beautiful book: Women Empowered

2007-03-15T18:03:00.000-07:00

I just read about a book entitled, "Women Empowered." It is a compilation of gorgeous sepiat-toned photography by Phil Borges along with inspiring essays about women who challenged cultural barriers in third world countries, and succeeded. Former U.S. Secretary of State Madeline K. Albright provides the foreword to this book.

BTW. Phil Borges is a man who totally Dared To Be Fabulous. He was once an orthodontist in San Francisco who, after practicing dentistry for 18 years, decided to sell his practice and pursue a career in photography. Isn't that great? Look at what he did with that passion and talent. (The picture we've attached is one of the women he features. Her name is Transito.)

This is what he shares about this book on his website:
"In 2004 I partnered with the organization CARE to bring attention to the necessity of empowering women in the global campaign to alleviate poverty. I traveled to Africa, Asia and South America to gather the stories of extraordinary women in remote parts of the world who have empowered themselves and their communities. Here are a few of these women, remote and mostly unknown, on the vanguard of a global shift toward gender equality."

Here is a link to his page so you can see more of the photographs and read about these amazing women:
http://www.philborges.com/we/women-empowered.html

DTBF!
Johanna

March 8 is International Women's Day

2007-03-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

Today is International Women's Day. Not that we need to mark a day to celebrate women around the world, but as long as it exists, our feeling is, let's celebrate!
We received a message today from DTBF alert subscriber, Sarah Clark, and we'll share it with you:

Good morning dear women! I wanted to take a moment today to celebrate the courage and strength of Women and also to pass on some information I learned recently about International Women's Day. According to an article in Bay Area Business Woman last month:

International Women's Day (IWD), celebrated annually on March 8, was born
at the turn of the last century - a time of economic and political turbulence.
It is rooted in the movement for women's right to vote and work: women's
strikes for bread and peace at the end of World War I, and the UN Charter declaration
of gender equality as a human right, signed in San Francisco at the end of WWII.
In December 1977, the UN General Assembly adopted a resolution proclaiming a
"United Nations Day for Women's Rights and International Peace."
For women of the world, this day became an occasion to review how far we have come
in our struggle for equality, peace and development. It is also an opportunity
to unite, network and mobilize for meaningful change - locally and globally.

When I lived in El Salvador in the 1990s, there was a women's march every year
on this day. I'm delighted to learn the origin of the day and to know that
San Francisco played a role. Thank you for being loving women in my life! Sarah

For more information, check out the International Women's Day website:
http://www.internationalwomensday.com/

DTBF!
Johanna & Patti

Q&A with Dove's pro-age model

2007-03-07T19:12:00.000-08:00

Dove is getting it right by spotlighting women with curves and lines and character.... who aren't rail thin and sixteen years old... and defining them as beautiful. Because, indeed, the ARE! It's about time advertising got it. My local paper, the San Francisco Chronicle, featured a Q& A with their pro-age model, Wendy Katzman, who was discovered in a swimming club's sauna in San Francisco. She is now featured in ads all over the country and has also been photographed by Annie Leibovitz and interviewed by Oprah. Talk about Daring To Be Fabulous!

The original article can be found on SFGate.com here:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/03/04/LVG14OCBGI1.DTL

Dove undoubtedly has generated a great response from this campaign. It speaks to every woman and celebrates us all. Now, let's hope it catches on!

DTBF!
Johanna

No Secrets in New Delhi

2007-02-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

I came upon my cd of Carly Simon’s "No Secrets." Talk about a soundtrack from your past. This one is on the top three. For me, it’s New Delhi, India. 1973. I’m nine years old. We play this album so often, it’s like the McCloy family album of 1973. It brings me back to early evenings in the living room, parents sipping cocktails. Then, to my room. Playing our old piano along with one of the songs, “Embrace Me.” Playing the song over and over and over, trying to learn how to play the piano along in tune, singing along with the words, “then one night daddy died, and went to Heaven and God came down to Earth and slipped away.” How I would imagine what that would be like. My daddy dying. The emotions. The loss. Little did I know my dad would die when I was still relatively young; 21 years old.

Every song with its own world of meaning. The context of the time when it was imprinted. The correlation of vocal tone and lyrics to the mood they created. Carly was with us there. Our little bubble of life at 12 Friends Colony West.

My brother named his daughter Carly. My family fondly thinks it has to do with the influence that Ms. Simon had on our lives. The love she brought. The bond she created. It sounds corny, but we all have music that sticks with us like that. And we may not always remember the artist or the song, but when we hear it, boy, do those floodgates of sense memory open up and remind us!

We might have intellectual disconnects in the present and pooh-pooh an artist that once brought us joy, because they are no longer hip or heard or popular or understood. But ya can’t take that memory away and the happiness that it brought you. The impact it has at a pivotal time in your life will never go away. KC and the Sunshine Band's "That's the way I Like it" lives on. For me, that’s Ithaca, New York, 1975; my one year of living in the U.S between birth and college. Michael Jackson's "Off the Wall"? That's Tokyo. 1979. Dancing in the crowded discos of Roppongi on Saturday night, sipping silly drinks like blue Hawaiians or violet fizzes. Talking Heads' "Burning Down the House"? Durham, North Carolina, 1983. Definitely the soundtrack of the house I lived in off of Duke's east campus with my sister and several friends. People joked that this album was on every single time they came over, and I think they were probably right. And one more, while I'm on a roll here. Fine Young Cannibals' "The Raw and the Cooked." That takes me to Bequia, West Indies, July, 1989. I was in this oasis of a place with 20 other actors, studying acting with Sandy Meisner. This just happened to be the album that was often played on the boombox when we took breaks or danced on Saturday nights. I will always go back to Bequia when I hear that album, and undoubtedly, so will everyone else that was there with me that month.

My friend Ilse is a musician who describes her need for music as a drug. I think music is a drug. Just because you don’t drink or smoke it, doesn’t mean it isn’t mood altering to a huge degree. It influences our mood. We use it to bring us up, or to bring us down. We use it to party. We use it to ponder. We use it to exercise. We use it to escape. When you turn on your ipod, how do you choose what song you will listen to? The questions is; how do you want to feel? And my friend is one of those music-driven people who slips away in consciousness when music is playing. You know how that goes. Trying to maintain a conversation flow of some normalcy becomes an arduous task with people who get lost in music. They’re gonners. You just have to sit out the tune and hope for the best, Maybe it’s just this one song. My brother’s the same way. They’re in another world and you have to fight to get their attention. But we all do it. I did it tonight when Henri was trying to talk to me. I got lost in New Delhi with No Secrets. The past came back, alive and well. New Delhi in Berkeley. 1973 in 2007. Music can do that.

DTBF!
Johanna

Going with the Flow / Feb Guest Column

2007-02-09T14:51:00.001-08:00

When we told Karen that we wanted to feature her story in our Guest Column this month, she was thrilled, yet also surprised. She thought Dare To Be Fabulous featured columnists who were oriented toward success. Well, our answer to that is, IT IS! To us, success is not just about outside accomplishments, but even more, about the spirit of daring to be true to ourselves, of defying conventions, personal histories, or our own fears; of following our guts, our hearts, our intuition. After all, momentary decisions can also be momentous ones! Little things we choose to do each day are important. They add up to create the bigger picture, and in that bigger picture, conventionally defined successes may or may not happen. But it’s in daring to be true to yourself that you Dare To Be Fabulous!

So, we bring you Karen’s story about her totally unanticipated yet very welcome change from a home-bound to an ocean-bound existence. It is entitled, “Go with the Flow.” Link to it at the top of our column page. Also, scroll down the side of this page to link to previous posts. We welcome your input through the comments section below each item!

We continue to accept submissions, so if you haven’t already shared your own DTBF story with us, please do! And spread the word to the women in your life. Read our story guidelines by clicking under "stories."

If you are interested in donning some Dare To Be Fabulous tees or undies, we have some available on the boutique page. (We also have Large, XL and 2X sweatshirts in the same colors, so let us know if you’d like to order any of those.) Link on "boutique" ...or write to us if you'd like to order sweatshirts.

DTBF!

Patti & Johanna
Co-creators/ Co-Editors

Hurrah for American Apparel

2006-12-22T09:55:00.000-08:00

News this week further solidified our support of American Apparel as the manufacturer of choice for DTBF merchandise. We wanted to share why. Here is an excerpt of a Dec.19 article:

American Apparel to Be Sold for $244M

LOS ANGELES (AP) - The mostly foreign-born workers at American Apparel's downtown garment factory, the nation's largest, have enjoyed benefits that would make austere executives grab their wallets: A health plan. Free English classes. Back rubs from a masseuse and stretching breaks.

But with Tuesday's announced sale of the T-shirt maker to a publicly traded company came news not of slashes to staff and perks, but of yet another novel benefit: A piece of the company would be offered to American Apparel's some 5,000 employees.

You can link to the full article at: http://news.moneycentral.msn.com/provider/providerarticle.aspx?Feed=AP&Date=20061219&ID=6290725
(You may need to copy and paste this URL in your address window if the link won't work.)

Dare To Be Fabulous is proud to support the work of this socially conscious company. You can see our apparel on the boutique page:
http://daretobefabulous.com/boutique/
(Note: Large size sweatshirts are also available now and will soon be posted on the site. If you'd like to order one, let us know!)

DTBF!
Johanna & Patti

December Guest Column: ESL Drop-Out

2006-12-01T14:31:00.000-08:00

Our December Guest Column has been posted. This month we feature a story by Nana Chen about her experience of personal transformation as a second generation Taiwanese who went from ESL student to ESL teacher to editor, writer and full-time artist. She defied general perceptions by daring to pursue her dreams and she did it with gusto. Her story is entitled, "ESL Drop Out." You can link to her story at the top of this page. (That's her photograph you see, too.)

We invite you to share any feedback by posting your comments below this entry.

Happy holidays, everyone!

DTBF!
Johanna & Patti

DTBF Boutique: Holiday Specials

2006-11-24T09:06:00.000-08:00

Now that we’re nearing the holiday gift-giving season, we’d like to invite you to check out the Dare To Be Fabulous boutique! We have added some holiday specials. If you are thinking of what to give your friend, daughter, sister, mother, co-worker.....keep these in mind! Link to the Boutique at the top of this page.

We’ll be adding a few items to the boutique soon... and always welcome any suggestions you might have for additional DTBF wear and merchandise. :)

DTBF!
Johanna & Patti

Dear Tokyo, Meet Your Next Pop Star

2006-11-07T13:05:00.000-08:00

Our Guest Column is up! This month, we feature a story by Kimberly Cooper entitled, "Dear Tokyo, Meet Your Next Pop Star." This story is a great example of going for it. Kimberly had a dream of becoming a Japanese singing pop star...and she gave it her best shot. The dream didn't materialize as she once hoped, but she had an adventure during her quest and still walked away feeling satisfied. She has no regrets and is simply happy for having tried. Now that is the spirit of Daring To Be Fabulous!

Read the story here: http://www.daretobefabulous.com/guestcolumn/

We encourage your feedback to the story. Share your thoughts by clicking under this posting.

DTBF!
Johanna & Patti